Stop the Email Ping Pong
Too many leaders are falling into the trap of email ping pong.
A simple issue starts with one email. Then comes the reply, the clarification, the copied-in
stakeholders, the defensive response, the misunderstood tone, the second clarification, and
suddenly a matter that could have been resolved in five minutes has consumed half a day.
Email has its place. It is useful for confirming decisions, sharing documents, capturing
agreed actions, and creating a record. However, it becomes a leadership problem when it
replaces real conversation.
The risk is not just wasted time. The greater risk is misunderstanding. Email removes tone,
pace, facial expression, body language, and immediate clarification.
The sender may believe they have been clear, while the receiver reads frustration, criticism,
blame, or indifference. Once that happens, the conversation is no longer about the issue. It
becomes about interpretation.
This is where leaders need to be more intentional.
A difficult issue, a performance concern, a sensitive client matter, a misalignment between
teams, or a decision that requires judgement should rarely be managed through endless
written exchanges. These are moments that require voice, presence, curiosity, and human
engagement.
Research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that face-to-face
requests were 34 times more likely to receive a positive response than requests made by
email. The lesson for leaders is clear. When outcomes matter, the quality of engagement
matters.
Verbal conversations allow leaders to hear what is not being said. They can ask better
questions, test understanding, reduce emotion, and redirect the conversation in real time.
They can also identify whether the other person is confused, resistant, defensive,
overloaded, or simply lacking the information needed to move forward.
Email ping pong often creates distance. Conversation creates clarity.
This does not mean every issue requires a meeting. It means leaders need to know when to
stop typing and start talking.
A practical rule is simple: if the second email has not resolved the issue, pick up the phone
or arrange a short conversation.
RDL’s view is that strong leadership is not measured by how many emails a leader sends. It
is measured by the quality of conversations they are willing to have.
When leaders replace email ping pong with direct, respectful, and timely conversation, they
reduce risk, save time, improve trust, and create better outcomes for everyone involved.
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